Waiting for Bubby's Baby

Keep the Faith

2009-10-10T20:11:00.002-05:00

I have been thinking about faith a lot lately. I truly believe that my faith in God's plan for me has helped me remain sane the last 4+ years. That and my amazing friends and family who have been supportive throughout this journey. I have my days when I lose faith briefly but seem to return to this eerie sort of calm quickly. It almost feels like I'm surrounded by an invisible shield or bubble - a protective layer made of prayers, well-wishes and love. Perhaps it is an angel laying their hand on my shoulder silently assuring me that it will be alright. Thanks to you, my friends and family, for helping me keep the faith. I truly appreciate it. Thanks to Sophie's "sisters" who keep her in their prayers. You touch my heart.

I've got a few more months before I am matched with Sophie - whoever she is. I wonder if she has been born and think that she probably has. I wonder how we will be alike and how we will be different. Will she be an artist? A musician? A scholar? An athlete? I can't wait to watch her grow and learn all about her and learn more about myself. I can't wait to share my love for a child I don't even know yet with that child when we come together as family.

It is God's plan as to when the invisible red string connecting us will tighten. China hasn't sent out referrals since the end of August and there has been discussion as to when the next batch will be sent. Will it be next week since they should be back from their week long national holiday? Will it be at the end of the month like it normally tends to be? Did they get through more than the rumored 5 days of dossiers? If they did, it means that there are 28 more days of login dates until my LID of 4/27. I'm inching closer but there are too many factors in place to estimate with any accuracy when I would get my referral. I had been thinking April but it will depend on what happens this batch and the next batch and well, all of the batches after that frankly.

I'm keeping the faith!

Happy New Year!

2009-02-05T12:58:00.002-06:00

Ni Hao! Happy New Year! January 26th welcomed in the Year of the Ox. Could this be the year for Sophie and me to finally become a family?

It has been a busy 2009 for me so far. I've decided it's time to finally finish getting Sophie's room ready. It's been serving as a storage room so I'm getting rid of things I don't need and finding new homes for the rest. Luckily no painting is needed. It was a baby's room when I moved in and the walls are a nice shade of pale green and yellow. It matches very nicely with the Classic Pooh bedding and decor I bought back in 2004!

I don't normally make resolutions but I have made a somewhat informal one to take better care of myself. I'm trying to eat more healthy, am drinking more water, and have even added trips to Lifetime to my schedule. I actually made it there 8 times in January which is a record for me (and will earn me $20 off dues in a future month). I think I do feel better in general so maybe more water and exercise is good advice.

I was not affected by last week's round of layoffs at Target but am saddened for the people I know who were let go. Keep your fingers crossed that the economy improves and keep on shopping at Target! My job should be safe unless the economy and Target's sales continue to deteriorate. Let's hope that doesn't happen.

I have some upcoming events I'm looking forward to. My sister-in-law's birthday was Tuesday so we're hoping to celebrate with dinner and a movie this weekend. Valentine's Day night will be spent with my single moms' group and their cute children. I'm very excited to see everyone again. My nieces and I will be getting together soon to put together 30 Easter baskets for the local foodshelf. I started doing this three or four years ago and I LOVE collecting all of the goodies for them. I especially love how my nieces like to help put these together for other children who might not get one otherwise.

I'm hoping to get away in March for a mini-vacation. I've wanted to go to a spring training Twins game for awhile so maybe this will be the year. Fort Myers and the Sanibel Island area of Florida sounds lovely right about now.

Lastly, I'm hoping to get started on Sophie's 100 Wishes Quilt. Thanks to everyone who has submitted fabric and your wish. There's still time if you want to partcipate.

Latest Timing Update:
There were rumors last month that things were finally going to speed up and then they matched 2 days worth of applications. That was a let-down to say the leaset. They have matched through March 2 so there are now 56 days until my LID. If they match 5 days/month, we're looking at another year. Six days per month will give me an early Christmas present of early December referral. Seven days per month will bring a referral in early October. Let's hope we're on a minimum trend of five days.

Now that I remember my password, I will try to post more often :-). Take care

Timing Update

2008-11-08T16:31:00.002-06:00

It looks like the CCAA matched 2 days worth of dossiers during the month of October. It hasn't officially been announced yet but there is no proof that they made it any further. It's a bit of a let down since they have been doing 5 to 8 days the last few months. What does this mean to me? I listed the month below (during the first week generally) that I would be receiving my referral based on the number of days worth of applications the CCAA processes.

September - 7 days
November - 6 days
January 2010 - 5 days

Please let me get my referral during 2009!

On a different note, today is my 19-year anniversary with Target! I can't believe how fast it has gone. Only 20+ years left before I can afford to retire . . .

Passing the time

2008-10-27T18:22:00.005-05:00

What have I been doing to pass the time? Not enough it seems some times. Ava and I have been trying to get the house in order. Well, mostly me but she does give me encouragement by laying on my lap when I take a break. Everyone says to get as much done as possible now before Sophie comes home because then I won't have time. Good advice. I'm busy trying to organize and de-clutter on the weekends. And paint. And do yardwork. And take naps. Sometimes the naps happen first and then the other stuff not so much.

I have discovered Ebay - both buying and selling. Unfortunately, more buying than selling but little by little my extra Creative Memories inventory is going to better homes where they won't be neglected.

I have also discovered the Ipod and online computer games. No day is complete without a few games of Bejeweled 2 on the old laptop.

I've also been trying to stay connected with my China mom friends. In September, I hosted the girlies and their moms at my house for lunch and a trip to the nearby playground. We had great weather and everyone seemed to have a blast. There were eight girls and eight moms and moms-to-be. How quickly the girls grow up! I also got to spend an evening with Miss Malia. How much she has picked up in the six months she has been here. We played outside, watched Ni Hao Kai Lan, ate dinner, watched Ni Hao Kai Lan, took a bath, watched Ni Hao Kai Lan, had a snack, read stories, and she went to bed. I can't wait to spend my evenings like that!

Work has been busy, well, constantly. There used to be a little less action during the summer but not this year. Luckily, I managed it well and was awarded with an in-position promotion in early September. The pay raise is certainly a big help.

I'm going to start working on Sophie's 100 Wishes quilt. Thanks to everyone who has submitted a fabric square and your wish. If you would still like to, it's not too late. Let me know if you need to be reminded of the details.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. You are in mine!

Deb

Where is she?!!

2008-10-27T17:59:00.002-05:00

I don't know about you but I was not ready to see the snow showers yesterday. Winter is inevitable and I am having a hard time understanding where this year has gone! Time has passed so quickly and yet I'm still waiting for my little one! In fact, today is the 30-month anniversary of my paperwork being logged into China's system.

2 and 1/2 years.

One quarter of a decade.

About 1 and 1/2 years too long!

As the holidays approach, I think more and more about her. I've picked up a few things for her (and myself) this last week to help pacify the longing I am feeling for her. Today it was a Mulan and Mulan II DVD combo set from Target. Last week it was shopping cart with fake food, a Little People toy set, and a bag of round plastic balls that I can't wait to pick up daily from all corners of the house. Next week, who knows what it will be.

How much longer will I be waiting? Good question. With each month that passes I have a better idea. There are no rumors about how far out they are going to match this month. Last month, they finished through Febuary 15, 2006. My date is April 27 or 71 more days. My best estimate based on recent trends of matching 6 days per month is early October or November of next year. No one knows if they will speed up or slow down.

A referral in early September is a possibility and would be the best 40th birthday present ever! I can deal with a referral in early December if I have to but if it moves into 2010 I'm not sure what I'll do. Then we're talking about a whole new decade and that makes my stomach turn a bit.

Yes, I know it will all be worth it but this adoption roller coaster ride has its ups and downs and twists and turns. It makes my heart race with anticipation and my head feel a little dizzy at times and even a little sick to my stomach on occasion. I just know though that when I have Sophie in my arms I'll be able to say that it was the best ride of my life!!

Love to you all!

Reunions

2008-09-06T09:20:00.006-05:00

Happy Fall! I know it technically isn't fall yet but it sure is starting to feel like it. I don't mind fall but it is a grim reminder of what follows: snow and cold. Anyway, the theme of today's entry is reunions. I've had several "reunion" events since my last entry and I guess you could call this posting a reunion- a reunion with my blog site which Ihaven't been keeping up with!

It's been a fun summer. My first reunion was the fourth annual Girl's Weekend held in Hinckley the last weekend in July. My sister started this by inviting family and friends to a rental house outside of Hinckley. It has a huge work room with a table for each of us to set up our gear and leave out for the entire weekend. Most of us work on scrapbooking and it is a huge help to not have to put our stuff away daily. It's four days of eating, drinking, talking, and having great fun! At this rate it looks like I'll be able to go next year as Sophie probably won't be here yet. I do plan to come up for a day the first year she is with me so that everyone can see her. Most of the people in attendance I see only at this weekend so it will be nice for them to meet her!

In August, I volunteered at the Children's Home Society & Family Services annual China Reunion. They host this for the families who have adopted from China through their agency and this year opened it up to families still waiting (like me) to adopt. There are crafts, games, performances, vendors, and lunch. I helped with registering attendees in the morning and with the Silent Auction in the afternoon. It was great to see some of my single friends who have their children and a huge reminder that adoption is an AMAZING thing.

August 16th was my 20-year high school reunion. It was very surreal to be sitting and talking to these people many of whom I barely spoke to in high school or haven't seen in 10 or 20 years. It was nice to see the people who were there and disappointing that some that I had hoped would be there were not. It was weird for me though - it was like two worlds colliding (my past with its high school insecurities and my more successful present). I think the unexpected "shock" of this collision has nearly passed but it honestly left me unsettled for a couple of days. Very weird and totally not what I expected.

The final reunion was the weekend before Labor Day. My brother, my sister and her family, and I took my Dad to Joe's Lodge for the weekend in a belated celebration of his 70th birthday. My dad used to take us kids to this resort about 15 miles east of Bemidji to stay in a log cabin lakeside for a week. Looking back, this annual event was one of the highlights of my childhood.

This time we stayed in a newer, modern lodge home that we could all fit in just off the lake so it was a different experience than my youth. Some fished from the dock, played basketball and tennis, or swam in the lake and played with the water toys. My Dad and I have stayed for a long weekend a few times in my adulthood but for my sister and brother it had been a number of years since they had been there. Although we were there from Friday late afternoon to Sunday morning, we had fun. It was a great reminder of how much I enjoy hanging out with my family and I hope we vacation together next year.

I hope your summer was great and that you had plenty of enjoyable reunion moments as well! I will post the latest on timing in the next couple of days. Thanks for your continued support and prayers!

Happy 26th Month LID anniversary!

2008-06-27T12:08:00.004-05:00

Today is the 26th month anniversary of the day my dossier was logged into the CCAA's system and I started this wonderful journey with China. Wow, 26 months. I must say it has gone quickly all in all, however, I don't really want too many more months to pass before I get a referral for my daughter. I don't know who she is my sight yet but I feel her in my heart.

So when do I expect my referral? Good question. There are rumors matching will speed up after the Olympics but no one really knows for sure. In May, eight days worth of applicants were matched, meaning that this month they'll start matching applicants that were logged in starting January 21, 2006. The eight days they did in May was a nice improvement over the three days they did in April and the five days completed in March. Because they did more days this month, it doesn't necessarily mean they matched more families. There was probably few applicants per day so they ultimately matched out the same number of children. We don't really see any hard and fast numbers on how many referrals are made each month. I am happy with the eight days they did because it gets me closer to my LID - which is 97 days away.

If they continue to match on average 7 days of applicants per month, I expect to receive my referral early August 2009. If it drops to a 6 day average, it will become early November 2009. Anything less than that will push it into 2010. Sigh.

Congratulations to my friend, Kami, who found out recently that her application (LID January 2007) has been approved! She now joins the rest of us impatiently waiting for our referrals. Also, congratulations to Chris and Jennie who are currently in China adopting their son, Austin. The adoption was finalized on Tuesday and they will be home on July 4th with their new American citizen. Can't wait to see them!

Tomorrow I'll be attending a half-birthday party for Malia who came home with Michelle in April. Malia has a Christmas birthdate so Mom is wisely throwing her a party to celebrate her half-birthday - 2 1/2 to be exact. We're going to Build A Bear in the Mall of America where I have decided I'll make a stuffed panda for Sophie.

I hope all is well with everyone. I celebrated my week off from work last week by painting, landscaping, and doing other chores around the house. I couldn't have asked for nicer weather and got lots accomplished. There is still always more to do though . . .

Today, my house is being re-roofed (cha-ching) and Monday I start physical therapy for my jaw. I have had issues with clicking in my jaw joints for awhile but now that I'm having pain (feels like a continues tooth ache) I need to get this taken care. Otherwise, all is well and I'm enjoying the summer.

May Days

2008-05-23T19:22:00.002-05:00

Happy Spring! I think we can finally say this without having to recant due to a cold snap or snow storm! May so far has been filled with a number of fun events. First of all, a very belated Happy Mother's Day regardless of what stage of motherhood you are in - still waiting, new mothers, or well-seasoned. I hope if was a day of fun and loving reminder of the awesomeness of being a mother!

I had the distinct honor of meeting Michelle and two-year-old Malia for lunch in downtown Minneapolis earlier this month. They returned home from China in April and it sounds like everything is going very well for them. Malia certainly won over the patrons (not to mention her "Auntie" Deb) in The Sky Room with her squeeky shoes and her just plain cuteness! I felt very blessed that they took the time out of their time together before Michelle returned to work to spend it with me. Malia even presented me with a beautiful framed picture of a sculpture of children in Guangzho to commemorate my two-year LID anniversary. It is a very nice reminder of our lunch and yet another example of how awesome my China mom friends are.

Last Saturday, I walked around Lake Nokomis in South Minneapolis as part of the Target Adoption Network's team supporting NACAC (North American Council for Adopted Children??). It was a beautiful morning for the one-hour walk and was spent in good company. My waiting friend, Kirsten, and friends Jennie and Chris who will be traveling to China this summer to pick up Austin had a nice chat as we strolled. We were also joined by Dan and Jori and their 2+ year old daughter, Emmy, who they adopted from China almost two years ago.

Last night, I watched Taylan who turned 18 months yesterday so Elizabeth could attend her book club meeting. They returned from China in November. Taylan and I played a little and read stories until it was time for bedtime. She did not fall asleep right away but was not crying. After an hour, I decided to rock her and after about 15 minutes she was sound asleep. I waited another ten minutes just in case and made the transfer to the crib. It has been a number of years since I've watched a child that age - my youngest niece, Haley, is 6 1/2. I couldn't help but think about when I would be rocking my own child to sleep. It was a great night and I'm so glad I could help Elizabeth get out.

Tomorrow morning many of the China moms and their children will be gathering at Joan's house for playtime and lunch. I've been looking forward to this since the invite came out because I haven't seen a number of the moms and girls since January. I'm sure I'll be shocked at how much they have changed especially since many are now talking. The weather should be nice so I can't think of a better way to spend the day!

I'll post an entry about the latest estimated timing of my referral and information about the devastating earthquake in China in the next couple of days.

Have a safe and Happy Memorial Day and try to honor the reason for the holiday!

Happy Anniversary?

2008-04-27T13:16:00.004-05:00

Well, today is the two-year anniversary of China logging in my dossier into their paperwork thus starting the Chinese leg of this adoption. Two years. Two long years. I found a chart on the Rumor Queen's website which shows that at the time my paperwork was logged in they were taking 11 months to review, approve, and refer (match) you with a child. Two years later and it has more than doubled in length and will most likely have tripled by the time its my turn.

Last year the date passed by without even a thought. I sort of wish that was the case this year. I think if the weather was warmer and sunnier today my mood would be warmer and sunnier as well. Working out in the yard is usually a spirit lifter for me but the conditions outdoors aren't enough of an enticer. Instead, I ventured to Target to update the baby registry I created last June when I learned I was approved. A number of things I chose then are no longer available so I made some changes. I took off all of the clothing items because although I asked for a child under the age of 1 year at the time of referral there are no guarantees. My friend, Michelle, was recently referred a 2-year-old so I'm keeping my options open. Anyway, the venture out lifted my spirits a bit and helped keep the process real.

This morning I managed to doze off after waking up too early on a weekend. I dreamed I had my little girl who was maybe 1. I was proud of the fact that she smiled for her Grandma and that I had her in a winter coat and hat and was pulling the hood on her head for added warmth since it was cold and snowy (it must have been April 26th). Much to my dismay, I looked down and she had short socks and thin pants on and I thought to myself, "Well, I got it mostly right". That must be my first lesson in parenting - try to get it mostly right. The only reason I mention the dream is that this is the first time I dreamt of actually having a child in my hands and seeing her face. Perhaps God knew I needed that vision to get me through the next year.

Here's hoping all is well with you!

Shout out to Greta!

2008-04-24T12:40:00.003-05:00

Congratulations to Greta who is also a SWCM (single waiting China Mom)! She learned today that the dossier she submitted in December 2006 has been approved. This is a monumental step in the adoption process as China has basically given her the thumbs up to adopt one of their children. If she is anything like I was, she is probably breathing A LOT easier now (and shedding a few tears of happiness). I'm very excited and happy for her!

Check out the May edition of the National Geographic magazine for their spread on China. They have some interesting videos on their website as well.

http://www.nationalgeographic.com

Bubby?

2008-04-22T17:43:00.003-05:00

I've had a few people ask me about Bubby so I thought I'd share with everyone. When I was first learning to talk, I called myself Bubby because I couldn't quite say Debbie.

I hadn't put any thought into what I would call my blog so I was caught a bit offguard when I decided to set it up somewhat spontaneously last week. I wanted a clever name but nothing came to mind. Suddenly Bubby popped in and I thought the combination of Bubby and baby together was kind of cute. Lord knows she may not technically be a baby since one of my single mom friends, Michelle, just returned home from China with a 27-month old but eh, close enough.

No news to report - just waiting to hear how many days worth of applications were matched this month. Rumors should start flying in the next week and we should know for sure in about two weeks. Enjoy this warm and sunnier weather!

Welcome to my blog!

2008-04-16T11:51:00.004-05:00

I have officially moved into the 21st century by setting up this blog to document my adoption journey! April 27th will be the two-year anniversary of the log-in of my dossier with the CCAA (China Center for Adoption Affairs). How slow and fast time has gone! It is hard to believe that has taken this long and there appears to be at least another year of waiting before I will be matched with a child. Rumors are that after the Summer Olympics hosted by China (opening ceremonies 8/08/08) are completed, adoption processing might speed up. Until that time, based on recent trends of matching 7 days worth of applications received with children per month, the estimate of my matching is early August 2009 based on my original LID (log-in date).

However, I just learned last week that my dossier may no longer be grouped with the other 4/27/06 LID dossiers. During the review room last Spring, China wanted additional information about me so they pulled my dossier out. I think I got the call from Children's Home on Monday or Tuesday of that week in March 2007 and submitted the additional information requested back to them within a couple of days. Long story short, the CCAA should have received this information in about a week so maybe it was a quick enough turnaround to remain in the same group with the other 4/27/06 dossiers. According to Children's Home, I should be able to find out the status of the timing of my dossier when it gets closer to matching (next year). Nonetheless, it would have been helpful to know of the possibility of moving to a later date last year when all of this happened. I guess it's just one more thing I cannot control about the whole process. At least I'm still officially approved by China to adopt a child and I can't wait for it to happen!